¿When Did We Lose The Colors?

A black jean, black belt, black turtleneck, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, black sweatpants, black combat boots…

Almost each and every clothing item in my closet has a black sample. Even though I have a relatively colorful wardrobe, it is an upsetting fact for me to not be able to make the same statement for the rest of the color chart. Maybe for white. But definitely not for orange. I don’t necessarily avoid wearing an all-black outfit; however, by my personal choice, I have always been prone to wearing colors. Myself being the last person to want drawing all the attention on, this poses a great problem towards my fading-with-the-crowd mission. The yellow trench coat smiles in between the clusters of black, beige, and grey ones. My seven-colored balloon sleeve pullover seems so colorful that even only its existence on my body makes my friends wonder why I might be wearing something “too colorful.” Looking back at the pre-2000s wide color palette, it is inevitable to question when and why we traded all those colors in to embrace being “interesting”.

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For the sake of wandering through our minds, I will put the “natural tones being the easy-matches” card aside. That would have been a waaay too easy answer to explain all the similar figures and styles we faced throughout the day. 

According to Anabel Maldonado, a fashion journalist and, as her saying, a fashion psychologist, “we wear what we wear for an item’s psychological pay-off. (...) The dark hue creates a barrier between itself and the outside world, keeping people away while providing comfort, protecting emotions, and hiding vulnerabilities, insecurities, and a lack of self-confidence.” Very much like an armor, she suggests. Also, the way societal culture initiates the meanings behind the colors adds to this psychological phenomena. The graduation gowns, lawyer togs, ecclesiastic clothing, meaning education, law, and religion, all refer to the color black as a must-wear of the official occasions. Meanwhile, the bridal gowns, uniforms, doctor coats are white, following the very same reason. In the 2000s high-competitive, self branding environment, as worded by Maldonado, people cast their votes to the empowering, serious presence of the settled tones. Vivid colors identified with a childlike, playful, superficial characteristic, but the majority does not prefer to attend the first day of work wearing green pants and a fuchsia shirt. 

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“Chromophobia manifests itself in the many and varied attempts to purge colour from culture, to devalue colour, to diminish its significance, to deny its complexity. More specifically: this purging of colour is usually accomplished in one of two ways. In the first, colour is made out to be the property of some ‘foreign’ body - usually the feminine, the oriental, the primitive, the infantile, the vulgar, the queer or the pathological.
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— David Batchelor, excerpt from Chromophobia, London: Reaktion, 2000, p. 22-23

In today’s fast developing, media based structure, people have a lot of platforms and a lot of opportunities to express themselves in the way they want to represent themselves. They are more than free to use the aesthetic they want. And on top of these, with sky-rocketing possibilities, fashion is currently another medium of art, as opposed to once limited production and availability means. It is now a matter of choice if you want to splash some color to your fabric. It is a matter of taking the risk to catch glimpses, challenging the appropriateness, and accepting to be the different one. It is a matter of personal preferences and not obligations.

Who knows, maybe pop-culture’s small hints to disco era and vintage are little hopes of new breathes for the dusty multicolored combines? What can bring the colorful podiums of the fashion industry down to the streets of our homes?

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An Ode to "Dressing Up"

When I was a little girl, I LOVED wearing dresses. I would wear them around the house, to the supermarket, and the the playground. To be honest, the thing my six-year-old self disliked the most about school was that I couldn’t wear a dress. That, and also the lack of strawberry milk.

In college, I’ve rediscovered my love of dresses. The only issue is that I want to wear dresses without looking “dressed up.” For much of high school I didn’t wear dresses because I felt that they were too “dressy” or “dressed up.” In fact, one time I did wear a dress and a family member jokingly asked why I was so dressed up for church.

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But wearing a dress doesn’t always need to mean one is “dressed up;” there are many casual dresses out there. And even if wearing a dress is “dressed up,”,what’s so wrong with that?

I guess I speak from a place of bias because I’ve always been a bit of a girly-girl. I would play t-ball in the backyard wearing a Snow White dress, I liked putting on my grandmother’s makeup and jewelry, I loved trying on big, sparkly heels and purses at the store with my mom, and I always wore a cute bow or hair-tie when I played sports. I’ve always loved dressing up. I like getting ready to go out, doing my hair, putting on makeup, wearing heels, and, of course, putting on a dress. However, I would often find myself waiting in anticipation for these “special occasion” as an excuse to get all dolled up, but lately, in the age of getting dressed up to go to the supermarket, I’ve been thinking what if I, and others who felt the same way, didn’t wait to get dressed up anymore and instead just did it.

I guess I never really though about it before college. In high school, the trend was joggers, adidas sneakers, crop tops, and leggings. Of course, being in high school and not wishing to draw attention to myself, I dressed this way and I admit I still do sometimes when I want to be comfortable, but it never really felt like me. I wanted to wear dresses and skirts and heels and put on makeup and wear cute jewelry. When these special occasions came around and gave me excuse to dress up a bit, I would go for it.

That all changed at college, as many things do.

In my classes and on the quad, there was such variety in style. Some people wore leggings, since that’s what they wanted to wear, and some were what in high school I would have called “dressed up.” But they were just going to classes and then the Reg and Bartlett, how could this be?

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It was because that was their style and they dressed for themselves, regardless of whether other people were dressed up or not.

So I began to experiment, as college students do, but in small steps.I began looking for inspiration on Pinterest and on the Instagram feeds of Italian models (I’m not sure what’s in the water, but they’re always dressed so stylishly and elegantly), and let me tell you, these models make it look effortless, but nevertheless I found myself inspired. I’d add a little jewelry here, a jeweled button sweater there, maybe a little heeled boot if it wasn’t a day I would have a lot of walking to do. I found a joy in it and even wore a dress one day with the little heeled boots, which felt amazing (not for my feet though since I had forgotten it was a Tuesday and I would be walking more).

So what I’m saying is that if you want to dress up on an “average” day, just do it if it makes you happy. What’s stopping you? Dressing up is great and if it makes you happy, why not do it?

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Why You Should Cut Your Hair During Social Isolation

The overwhelming restlessness that has been stirred up by isolation has reduced me to pure impulse. When I want to rearrange my closet, I do. When I want to snack, I do. When I binge-watch “Baby” on Netflix and watch Alice Pagani play ‘Ludovica’, who sports a chin length black bob with short bangs, and then I see my blue craft scissors, I think Fine. I’ll bite. 

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My Roommate Trimming My Hair

And maybe I don’t really feel any reaction when I see my own face, prominently displayed at the top of the screen. In Zoom discussion, on FaceTime, and over Instagram, why is the temptation to constantly be checking out your own face so magnetic? I think that the more I look and my own face is reflected in the black mirror of a dark laptop screen, the more I want to change it. 

So, whatever.

I cut five inch chunks from my hair. And then, immediately call in my lovely enabling roommate to straighten the edge and uniform the length. We sit on the floor in front of my mirror, black hair forming a circle around us, and laugh. She tells me that she once cut her friend’s hair with small scissors in her high school’s bathroom. 

This is a time honored tradition. Perhaps because it feels good to do something and immediately see tangible results. Perhaps because it makes you feel like a new person, when all other modes of expressing yourself have been taken away. Perhaps it is about bodily control in an uncertain time. I say that you should go ahead and cut your hair. After all, it will grow back. And all we have is time. 

Featured image via Alice Pagani’s Instagram

I Stopped Being a Pushover, Which Made My Life Awful

I always try to accommodate others, see problems from their perspective and offer reasons (or excuses?) for their behavior. This trait is known to psychologists as being highly agreeable, which sounds like a good thing—but being too agreeable is a big problem.

Over the summer of 2018, I had to rent a series of Airbnb’s over several months to live in Los Angeles. I hate LA now, partially because of how Airbnbs made my life so unstable. The worst time was when as I was switching locations, and I asked my future host over a messaging app about seeing the new room. She mentioned that someone was currently living there, so it was not available. I asked if I could see it when the person was not there, and suddenly she called me.

When I picked up, she immediately began to scream at me. She called me rude and demanded “who taught me to be this way” for eight minutes, nonstop. Throughout her rant, I tried to smooth things over by apologizing, but I was terrified. Eventually, she ran out of things to say and hung up.

I felt numb. What could I do? If I canceled the reservation, I would have no place to live for a while. What’s worse, according to Airbnb policy, I’d have to abide by her refund rules, which meant I might only receive 50% of the hundreds of dollars I was supposed to pay her. If I didn’t cancel, I’d live in the house of someone who had antagonized me over what I felt was a trivial matter, and live in fear.

When I confessed the situation to my boss the next day, he was shocked and scornful that I had apologized to the host over the call. It was so hard to explain to him the fear of confrontation and the desire to smooth things over.

The Big Five personality traits describe 5 spectrums for measuring personality, including openness to experience, extraversion, and agreeableness. Like with the Myers-Briggs personality test, it’s common to hear about the strengths of people with each personality trait, but it’s harder to admit that our defining characteristics have strong disadvantages. For example, someone who is too open to new experiences may be reckless or easily led into dangerous situations.

The major disadvantage of being agreeable is not finding it hard to say no, it is wanting to say yes to things I don’t want to do. Even when the Airbnb host was yelling at me, I found it hard to bring myself to yell back. In everyday life, I’d accept people skipping me in line, or waiting at the doctor’s for an hour and a half. What pushed me to change was when the people who cared for me urged me to stand up for myself.

I began to want to challenge line-skippers and to ask receptionists when the doctor would arrive, which seemed like a victory. Initially, I’d still have the instinct not to make trouble. Each confrontation came from long internal debate, and I’d feel stressed fighting my natural inhibitions. Eventually, I overcame these feelings, but I realized that it made me feel worse, not better.

Being less agreeable means looking to challenge people at every instance. When people approach a line I’m standing in, I suspect that they might be trying to skip. When I’m right, we end up pushing wills against each other and fighting, and I walk away stressed and in disbelief at the nerve of this person. Whereas my agreeable self would have accepted being skipped, which causes some short-term stress, arguing with a stranger would cause longer-term stress. After all, disagreeable individuals have more negativity in their life.

Yes, being less agreeable has helped me secure advantages, but it’s also led me to create stressful situations for myself. If I had done what my boss wanted me to do and yelled at the Airbnb host, what advantage would I have gained? When I called Airbnb, they insisted that they could only refund me any money that the host consented to give me. Eventually, over six hours of calls with Airbnb customer service, I was able to obtain a near complete refund.

Maybe apologizing to the host had soothed her anger a little, or maybe she would have given me a refund either way. But constantly looking at people as if they are antagonists is a painful way to live. Maybe I’ll find a happy medium, or maybe I won’t, but now I know that “standing up for myself” isn’t always as good as it’s made out to be.

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War Paint For Men Unnecessarily Genders Makeup

I’ve always been fascinated by the art of makeup. When I was really young, my brother and I would binge watch Michelle Phan’s videos, memorizing every step of her routines, but since we didn’t have any makeup of our own, we would convince our mom or our cousins to follow the tutorials on our behalfs. We would stare in awe at how these women could change their faces with makeup; it was something that we felt we could never really understand; it was as if they were transforming themselves into someone else, or perhaps exploring a new side to them. It was magic to me.

James Charles, Covergirl’s first ever Coverboy is credited as one of the most successful male beauty gurus on YouTube. Image via

Since those days, I’ve been amazed at how the industry not only expanded into being more accepting of different skin colors and lifestyles, but also into being more inclusive of gender. Whether we like it or not, the makeup industry and the huge influx of male beauty influencers has really put so much effort into showing that makeup can and should be for everybody.

I bought my first ever bottle of foundation in my first year in University, and I remember finishing it off within a semester, I was so in love with the way makeup made me feel, how it gave me a sense of creative control over things that I thought were unchangeable. I’ll admit that even I was hesitant to the idea of applying makeup as part of me still saw it as a feminine craft, but now that I’ve been wearing it for over a year, I see it as a means of self-care and something that is definitely not gender restrictive.

The full set of War Paint for Men’s products.

I stumbled across an ad the other day for this brand called War Paint for Men, whose matte-black packaging appealed to me, but upon further probing, I was disheartened or perhaps confused at what I saw. Essentially, War Paint specializes in makeup for men, which I suppose in theory isn’t too shocking, but what haunted me was how hyper-masculine their marketing images were.

In some ways, I’m glad that there is a cosmetics brand out there that is really tailoring themselves to marketing makeup for men: I love the matte black packaging, and I love that their products are a really solid introduction to makeup: foundation, powder, concealer and applicators. Their products are vegan and contain ingredients that really nourish your skin (which for someone with sensitive skin, I really appreciate), but I can’t shake the idea that this brand is off somewhere.

While the brand seems to be expanding the accessibility of makeup, I fear that it may be perpetuating a masculine ideal that almost contradicts its message. In particular, I was deeply affected by War Paint’s advertisement, which featured a tattooed man in the shower (I’d say Axe commercial circa 2002 bod) applying concealer and foundation before donning his huge skull ring and cutting to logo. For one: why would you ever apply makeup in the shower? and secondly, why is this ad so insistent in maintaining this awkward standard of machismo?

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Even its name “War Paint for Men” rubs me the wrong way: this push towards militaristic, aggressive masculinity seems unnecessary and odd. It’s like their message isn’t that “makeup is for everyone” but rather “this particular brand of makeup is for only the manliest men”, which might have been alright in the days of Axe and the Jersey Shore, but now seems dated, insensitive and frankly, kind of silly.

I’m hoping the brand notices its error and leans in more towards accessibility, and inclusivity rather than aggressive manliness. Makeup is amazing, it opens up a whole different side of one’s creativity and I like the idea that there is a brand that is trying to open up that side in men specifically, I just don’t like that the brand feels the need to sell toxic masculinity, but make it makeup.

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Update: the brand took down their advertisement, oddly enough not because of angry comments, but rather because the marketing team got into copyright music trouble.

2 Stores that Make Earth Day Every Day

One of the many Zero-waste kits that Package Free Shop offers. Image via

If you’re looking to hop on the zero waste train, are already on board, or just want one of those reusable straws everyone’s been talking about, Package Free Shop is the place to go. ‘Zero waste’ refers to the increasingly trendy phenomenon of minimizing the massive amount of trash that is a byproduct of consumerism. It can involve at-home composting and shopping at bulk stores, but the largest push by the zero waste movement is to eliminate single use items. Think plastic water bottles, take-out containers, paper towels, shampoo bottles, etc. Single use items are everywhere and once you start to see them it’s difficult to stop noticing how much we rely on them in our daily lives. Although it is largely systemic change targeted at large corporations that we need to stop the progression of pollution and climate change, making individual lifestyle swaps can be influential in other ways. Intentionally searching for re-usable items shows companies that the public takes the environment seriously, helps small and local businesses, and can align your day-to-day practices with the values of environmentalism.

An easy place to start is to take a look at Package Free Shop. It is the online marketplace for sustainable and reusable everyday items. From shampoo, to dog toys, to vibrators, Package Free Shop has eco-friendly and reusable versions of all your must-have products sourced from companies that consciously make a positive environmental impact. The items are (usually) reasonably priced and they ship in completely recyclable packaging. Since Package Free Shop’s founding by zero-waste blogger Lauren Singer of Trash is for Tossers, the company estimates they have kept kept 4,025,600 plastic straws, 3,061,240 plastic bags, and 1,419,260 non-recyclable bottles and cups out of landfills. I personally own their string grocery bag, large metal straw, and two silicone sandwich bags I make frequent use of. 10/10 would recommend for those wanting to be more environmentally friendly in their daily lives but are not sure where to start or aren’t able to sacrifice convenience.

If you’re looking to do even more for the environment by cutting out shipping emissions, then Hyde Park residents should stop by Bonne Sante Health Foods on 53rd before placing an order at Package Free Shop. The store has been open for 35 years and sells a huge variety of specialty food items, herbal remedies, and eco-friendly home and beauty products, some even from local businesses! They also have a delicious juice bar and food menu. Basically, a one-stop-shop for vegans/vegetarians/zero wasters. I picked up a loofah and a shampoo bar and was severely tempted by the natural deodorants and makeup before I snapped out of my stupor. Please go get these things and allow me to live vicariously through you. Stop by on your way to Target, CVS, or Whole Foods and who knows, maybe you’ll find your new favorite eco-friendly product and support some local businesses too!

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Potentially Unpopular Opinions About Girl Scout Cookies

More than just a controversial cookie ranking, this is a special article because we have two writers teaming up for a new-to-MODA collab. That’s right: pop music-maven Joseph Wiltzer and KonMari consultant Katherine Maschka Hitchcock have curated a list that will knock both your socks AND taste buds right off. Cookies are rated according to various qualifiers on scale out of 10.

J: Both Katherine and I actually have interesting histories with Girl Scout cookies. I’m from Montreal so I’d never actually tasted any until coming to college. Before you shout “child abuse,” I promise that Canadian childhood is wonderful, even without the moist, coconut-y goodness of the Samoa.

K: This true blue American, on the other hand, had a fairly traumatizing experience with The Girl Scouts of America in which I was bullied by my middle school friends (and their moms!?!?). The campy, do-good, girl-power spirit that the GSA cultivates thus eluded me. I have therefore allied with Joseph to produce a Girl Scout cookie review wholly absent of the patriotic and empathetic attitude of the American public.

Samoas

K: Crunchy caramel goodness. I was initially skeptical, but Samoas soundly defeated my previously unmatched love of Tagalongs. This is the sophisticated man/woman’s Girl Scout cookie.

J: This is the gold standard for pre-packaged cookies. Miss me with literally anything else if there is a box of Samoas on the table, I will absolutely ravish them.

Taste: 10

Texture:10

Cookie to filling ratio: 10

Would buy: 10

Would eat if in front of me: 10

Tagalongs

K: Tagalongs are classic, timeless, and completely addictive. I would think twice about eating the entire box in one sitting just because of how filling they are, but if I did I would not be mad.

J: These were actually the first Girl Scout cookies I ever tasted and I was not disappointed. Tagalongs serve a gorgeous mix of chocolate and peanut-butter smoother than my best pick-up line [Editor’s note: *rolls eyes*].

Taste: 9

Texture: 8

Cookie to filling ratio: 9

Would I buy: 10

Would I eat if in front of me: 9

Trefoils

K: Grandma’s classic shortbread made in a factory. I’m pretty sure the first ingredient in Trefoils is butter and the second is heart attack, but you just can’t be mad at them.

J: I literally started brewing a pot of tea when I looked at this picture. Name a more iconic duo than Trefoils and black tea. I’ll wait…

Taste: 9

Texture: 8

Cookie to filling ratio: N/A

Would buy: 9

Would eat if in front of me: 8

Do-si-dos

K: The off-brand nutter butter. Unfortunately Do-si-dos are competing with Tagalongs for peanut butter supremacy, which is just not a battle they are going to win. I did, however, involuntarily eat 5 of them in one sitting. These feel like a snack where Tagalongs feel like dessert.

J: Imagine being the pretty younger sister of one of the most glamorous cookies. It’s good, but if I had to chose a cookie with peanuts, it’s always going to be Tagalongs.

Taste: 7

Texture: 6

Cookie to filling ratio: 7

Would buy: 7

Would eat if in front of me: 7

Savannah Smiles

K: Not my favorite flavor for a cookie, but the taste-testers for this article swayed me. Savannah Smiles hit you with a lemon frosting flavor that diminishes as you continue to eat them, leaving a slightly salty aftertaste. I wish they were less dense and sickly-sweet because the powdered sugar and lemon have the potential to make a light and refreshing bite similar to a Russian tea cookie.

J: I’ve literally never tasted this but it has the word smile in the name so I’m on board. 2019 is all about happiness and positivity so this is a yes from me.

Taste: 5

Texture: 4

Cookie to filling ratio: N/A

Would buy: 5

Would eat if in front of me: 5

Toffee-tastic

K: The gluten-free newcomer to the Girl Scout cookie scene is surprisingly tasty. These are essentially Trefoils with some pretty decent toffee in them. The only reason they are rated so low is because of the texture: painfully dry. If you are gluten-free these are a good option because of the taste, but be sure to dunk them in milk or you may die of thirst.

J: The Sahara Desert recently called this cookie to congratulate it on being the new driest thing on the planet. I’ve literally been told I “taste good, but a little dry” so I can honestly relate [Editor’s note: what?? Also, the Atacama Desert is supposedly the driest, non-polar place on the planet].

Taste: 7

Texture: 0

Cookie to filling ratio: 6

Would buy: 4

Would eat if in front of me: 4

S’mores

K: I don't know how Girl Scouts could have ruined S’mores but they have. These taste like chemicals; an amalgamation of artificial chocolate, marshmallow, and even graham cracker flavoring. “Literal trash” says taste-tester Audra Berg, and I agree.

J: Never has a cookie looked so cute, but tasted so bad. We can all agree that S’mores have the look down, but the flavour needs a lot of work.

Taste: 2

Texture: 6

Cookie to filling ratio: 7

Would buy: 1

Would eat if in front of me: 2 (and only if I really hated myself)

Thin Mints

K: #sorrynotsorry. Thin Mints are dry and uninspired. The mint flavor is overpowering and it feels like you’re eating chocolate toothpaste. At least you can acceptably spit out toothpaste.

J: Thank u, next.

Taste: 2

Texture: 1

Cookie to filling ratio: N/A

Would buy: 0

Would eat if in front of me: 0

J: Are you upset? Shook? Don’t be. This is empirically studied, theoretically-backed research conducted by Katherine and I. We are dessert experts with PhDs in cookie mechanics, and if you can’t respect that, work on yourself. Anger is a disease sweetie, get better soon!

K: True. I bought five boxes of Girl Scout cookies and conducted taste tests to refresh myself on the more unpleasant ones in the bunch. Joseph and I both knew where Thin Mints were going to end up on our list before the taste tests, though. Time to take out the trash!

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Designing My First Collection for Atelier MODA

The night before the Atelier MODA Show, I sat on my couch with two black leather shoulder plates on my lap and a sandwich bag of 200 safety pins in my mouth. I anxiously tried to stick more and more silver pins into the plates, hoping that the additions would make the look that much more striking. I suppose I conditioned myself at that point to believe that I could never have enough, and that more than anything, sticking safety pins into black leather was almost a form of meditation to calm my nerves. By that point, my backpack and suitcase were packed, excluding the plates which had to be carried in a separate bag due to their size and sharpness; the next day would turn out to be a wild and memorable night to say the least.

My Mood Board for the NO FEAR Collection.

Designing my first collection for Atelier MODA was a truly enthralling and rewarding adventure. From start to finish, it really did feel like one big blur, during which a collection was fully realized, but I’ll see how much I can relay to you through this reflection.

I went into the whole process basically as a complete amateur. I definitely remember feeling that my lack of experience in garment construction would hamper the final result.

My illustrations seemed more advanced than what was feasible for a three-dimensional model, so I was certainly insecure in the translation process from sketch to garment. Thankfully, I had such a supportive group of designers, models and friends who constantly made me feel that my decisions were justified.

When you design, it feels like you’re translating your own perspective of life, your own experiences, your own desires and fears into design, and to have so much support for my designs without judgement gave me an immense sense of inspiration and freedom.

All of the designers had such unique takes on what fashion means and the messages we wanted to share with our audience, but I was pleased to see so much cross-pollination occurred when it came to my own collection. I tell everybody that so many of my designs have bits and pieces of other designers’ works and that connection between designers is something I find really uplifting; it’s as if we all had a common link that ran through all our collections, perhaps a common love for creativity, for fashion, or for collaboration, all things I valued throughout this process.

It’s hard to believe that upwards of 200 hours of work could all be distilled into one magical night, enough to the point where all those laborious hours feel somehow worth it. I remember that on the day of the show, I told my models that the finishing touches rested in their hands. I made the clothes and now they had to bring their personalities to the pieces to bring them to life.

And they did not disappoint.

Despite the difficulties that come with strapless tops, frayed edges and a harness covered in safety pins, my models transformed my collection into something that I could have only dreamed of. It was like watching my sketches strut off the page and down a runway. The crowd was so welcoming and the comments after the show brought me to tears; I had just realized a dream that I’ve had since I first discovered the world of fashion.

More than anything, this entire process has filled me with a deep appreciation for all the wonderful people that collaborated with me through my journey. To my wonderful co-designers and design mentors, particularly those who worked in DBC with me: you filled me with so much inspiration, so much love and support and so much laughter and joy. Seeing the way you all crafted your own collections influenced my construction so much, so I’d like to say my collection was in many ways yours as well.

To the wonderful MODA Board who put together rehearsals, the venue, lighting, hair and makeup, who supported the entire assembly of the show, I am grateful for the time and effort you put into managing so many people: the show turned out beautifully.

And finally, to my lovely models, who remained resilient despite all the unexpected turns in their outfits, who wore whatever I put them in with no complaints and who continue to inspire me as muses to this day. I could not have asked for a better team, and I am forever grateful that MODA supports this spirit of collaboration. This process likely took up more than 200 hours of my life, but I don’t regret a single second.

If you are insecure or shy or curious when it comes to designing for the MODA Show (as I once was), I highly recommend you bite the bullet and give it a go and apply for the Designer Boot Camp. Fashion design and garment construction have taught me so much about the creative process and my own personal aesthetic, and it’s an experience that I will treasure for years to come.

I can’t wait to see what next year’s show will be like!

Pre-show poke and polaroids

Photos courtesy of Alexandra Nisenoff and Andrew Chang

In Today's Burnout Culture, Useless Hobbies Matter

Only after I began to knit did I force myself to stop hating knitwear. The activity itself is arguably useless. I don’t sell my knitting, nor do I really give it to anyone. There is little to no return-on-investment on knitting; in fact, I found a beanie for sale at Forever21 for $3, less than a ball of yarn and a pair of needles, without even accounting for the time it takes to hand-knit the hat.

It isn’t efficient, either: a knitting machine, or even sewing, could accomplish the same job in a quarter of the time. Pulling fibrous yarns through each other to the clinking rhythm of my needles takes time. But it’s not only enjoyable, it is necessary. The world would be far more dangerous without this wasteful hobby.

Engaging deeply in a profitless hobby seems like the antithesis of what a productive young person should do. My former boss, an ex-investment banker, once told me that you should only do activities that will build towards a career. Neither training Ki-Aikido martial arts, playing tabletop RPG’s, nor knitting helps with any of my longer-term goals.

For such activities, their collective net worth is a net loss; the activity counteracts goal-setting and other important career skills, and it creates things that have no use for our society, which is why I call them useless. But the value in having a useless hobby is not its end result, but rather in its process.

In sharp contrast to the goal-oriented, results-driven perfectionist mentality that classes and work pushed onto me, I am able to enjoy the process of knitting. Mistakes merely tickle me. They can easily be undone and fixed before moving forward.

More important than the sensory engagement of knitting is its lack of expectations. If I don't create any standards to compare myself to, then there simply are none. I can let myself fully ignore the thrumming awareness in my mind that is my perfectionism. The idea of millennial burnout is spreading quickly, and the needs for perfection and optimization at its core demand a solution if we want to avoid crashing and burning out.

It’s telling that we have to engage in specific activities to relax, rather than having a lack of tension be our default state. Unlike other activities, such as watching TV shows or reading, knitting involves many more senses. My fingers brush over the yarn’s textures, each loop meeting a slight resistance and then almost popping through. The needles hit each other and release their small clicks under the whirring humdrum of activity around me to create a familiar echo for my ears. Finally, the piece I’m knitting grows over time, and transforms from a string into a two-dimensional fabric into a three-dimensional piece whose final form is in my mind’s eye.

Knitting is an activity I enjoy because it has no purpose in my life. The second I begin to drive it towards a direction, I begin to fret over my mistakes and think of what I can do better. Knitting, my useless hobby, is one of the outlets that draws me away from the structural problems that plague young career-driven generations. If we want to avoid the burnout that comes from productivity optimization, then we must allow ourselves to be unproductive. I’ll wear the hole in my hat with pride, thank you.

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