Your February 2019 Horoscopes Are Here!

Regardless of whether you buy into all-things astrology or you’re more of a skeptic (gross), here’s my first go at scheming up your monthly horoscopes. In other words, you’re welcome and please start scrolling.

This February, Mars, Aries’ guardian planet, enters the diligent and proactive Capricorn. Your combo of passion and this timely maneuver make now the perfect time to snatch yourself an SO before Valentines Day! Scheme smart, take risks and cuff yourself before the holiday. Alternatively if you are loving the single life, now is a good time to get started on or continue a project or interest you have pushed to the side; your newfound drive might just be the perfect tool to finally finish whatever mediocre poem you’ve been writing. You could also get ahead on a problem set, but we all know that isn’t your style.

The new moon passing through Taurus this month is a phenomenal time to make that big change you’ve been putting off. Hate that fourth class? Drop it. Annoyed by that RSO? Drop it. Annoyed with your SO? Drop them. With all this newfound free time, you can do more of the things you love the most this quarter: sleeping and eating. You are a self-care expert; do more of that this winter.

There aren’t many major astrological shifts affecting Geminis this month. Reflect on how the last month went; where you happy? If yes, proceed similarly, you will have another good month. If not, it’s time to start cutting toxic commitments and people out to make room for your interests. There are a million other things you would rather be doing or people you would rather be hanging out with if we are being honest, and a happier month is only on the horizon if you take action.

I know you usually have to play mom or dad for all your friends, but with Saturn in retrograde this month, it’s best that you focus on you. If you let yourself be everybody’s most available crutch this month, you won’t be able to keep yourself standing. 50/50 chance you cried while you read that, which I’m sorry about, but wipe your tears off you vulnerable little crustacean, or this month will be tough.

The Sun, your guardian planet (I know its not a planet just go with it), enters Pisces this month. Expect your usually, badass lion-self to feel a bit more like an emotional kitten. That’s not a bad thing necessarily, because these emotions are important for you to deal with. That being said , if you find yourself alone on Valentines Day because you followed my advice, don’t @ me.

In February, you are going to have to release your death grip on controlling every aspect of your life when your guardian planet, Mercury, enters your opposite sign, Pisces. I know its terrifying for you, but go with the flow more often this February, especially in your love life. Venus, the planet that governs love and relationships, is also entering Pisces this month, so if you care about those things, which honestly I don’t even know if you do, a little less planning and a little more adaptivity is going to be essential.

You will be pleased this month when we exit the boring and practical Capricorn season if favor of the eclectic and unique Aquarius. If you have felt bogged down or creatively-blocked last month, fear not, February is going to be a lot more interesting. Be careful however, because as much as you Libras would want to prance around a flowery meadow and weave bracelets this month, you have important work to do. You hate the confrontation that arises when you don’t adhere to your responsibilities, so keep your commitments in line.

I love Scorpios. The stars will move and you will feel things. Call me.

I actually know very little about this sign but okay lets try something… Think of a number between 1 and 5. I’ll wait. Still waiting. I’m not in a rush or anything. Ok, you good? Forget that number, it’s meaningless, just like how you are about to feel when your guardian planet, Jupiter, starts its four-moth retrograde cycle on February 1st. Even if you are feeling down or lack motivation, remember that you are a bold and beautiful individual that can always light up a room, or impress in a one-on-one conversation.

Capricorn season just came to a close, so don’t be worried if you are feeling a little less motivated and driven than you were last month. Even you, the zodiac’s hardest working goat, are allowed to feel unproductive sometimes–don’t beat yourself up about it! Instead, spend this time plotting how you will get back at Virgos for being awful. I wanted to put Virgo hate in this article but I didn’t want the Virgos to see it or they would file a complaint or whatever it is they do in their free-time, can you handle them for me? Thanks.

Aquarius season has officially begun. This is amazing for you because it means everybody else will be acting strange and interesting; just how you like it. Expect to feel creative and independent this month, but be wary of considering other people in all your miscellaneous endeavors. I would give you more advice but the mind of an Aquarius is a place only understood by other Aquarius. If you see me or anybody else who doesn’t share your sign this month, cut us some slack, we are doing our best to keep up.

Finally, we have arrived at the best sign, and let me tell you, we have a great month coming up. The Sun, Mercury AND Venus are all entering Pisces in February which means good things overall, but especially in our ~love lives~. Swim up to that girl or boy you are into and make a move; you will be feeling confident with relationships this month. Alternatively, dive into a new interest or show… have you heard of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo?? The world is your oyster. That was a gross number of water puns, you almost drowned in them. Ugh I’m disgusting, but regardless, I love you other-Pisces, make sure to let your gorgeous self shine through this month!

All photos via fineartamerica.com